Monday, August 3, 2009

ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?

i've just read over a post i did at the beginning of the summer all about the things i wanted to do this summer.  now i know it's not completely over but it basically feels like it because all i do now basically is work and prepare for college.
so lets see how i did.

1. sleep - definitely yes, my insomnia has still been terrible but i've perfected the art of sleeping in late for sure.

2. party/see shows - party... yes for the first half of the summer and seeing shows, yes i suppose.  i i've seen all the good ones around me i guess: camera obscura, au revoir simone, the plastiscines, patrick wolf, jag love, living things, luego, she & him, coldplay (who i just saw last night... 

changed my life.
went with leah.
got wet butts... like everyone else from the grass.
got slapped on my wet butt by a rude stranger.
got butterflies poured on us by a nice stranger.
danced more than i thought possible.
screamed more than i thought possible.
got belly shirt imitated by another rude stranger.
got a free cd.
got questioned.
got changed.
got ginger ale.
chris martin:
3. find a place to hide - no where new.  so i guess i failed at that one.  although i just read "doors of perception" by huxley and so i'm learning to find a place to hide within my mind.

4. make beautiful things - i've been doing some sewing and some watercolors... made this dress out of part of a vintage skirt.

5. eat - yes.  just had only burger for dinner tonight.  and i've been frequenting mad hatters while michael is working to get free german chocolate cake and coffee drinks.

6. make wishes that come true - no.  i basically had one wish this summer that i repeated over and over again and that came to nothing.

7. be outside - yes.  i would say that between my trip to portland, eno fest, and many a duke gardens romp, i've been outside... although i failed at going to the beach for a week like i should have so maybe i only completed this one half way.

8. float on air - kind of vague.  i think i did for a while, but then i fell.

9. dream - literally yes, i've had loads of strange dreams this summer.  as far as a dreamy life style... first half of summer only.

10. learn to ride my bike - no.  utter failure.  i didn't even try and now i've given my helmet away.

11. find love - ha.  as if.

i've been doing a lot of reading and movie watching lately as well.

all of these books and movies changed me in some way.  huxley is now my favorite person in the world.  "doors of perception" is all about his experience on peyote among countless other random and extremely true observations about the world.  "angus thongs and perfect snogging" based of course on the amazing book... changed my life.  beyond having the best soundtrack EVER i learned so many amazing new phrases such as "the pants", "the business", "nervy b", "fois.. they are sex gods", "fois... quality luscious" etc...etc...
a lovely day with julie, hannah, and marianna while she was in town.  it was lovely to see her.

i leave for college in 12 days.  it doesn't seem real.  my room exploded today.  and i had to say good bye to xan because she is leaving tomorrow to asheville.  everything is over.  and sometimes i feel like i did it all wrong.  sometimes i feel like i didn't do anything at all.  usually focusing on the big picture is more important than the little things.  but not this time.  the big picture is a mess.  i need to remember that i had a lot of good times, individually. because i really did.


peaitlreiecnia said...

i really liked reading this post, this amalgamation of emotions seems so similar to what i felt, but of course it's very different. college will be amazing, and maybe when you back at how things were later on, you'll see that you did everything just right


chelsea jade said...

i loved this post. when i saw the title it felt like you were talking to me directly because i'm feeling something like that and it feels like it owns me.

i agree with peaitlreiecnia. you will grow so much at university! you'll know what these months really meant.

chelsea jade.

leah said...


need i say more?

oh wait, i do. this wins the award of the single best post i have EVER READ IN BLOG WORLD. or maybe its just my favorite piece of internet i've ever seen.........
i just appreciate you so much in my life

Lisa said...

Great pics! I love the umbrella with the hearts and Aldous Huxley is one of my favorite authors!

Lou said...

Nice !!!
You have a cool blog :)

jules said...

Banana boo, You create the most beautiful things, both material, emotional, and physical. You stun me like no other person I knows stuns me, and while I know that when I see you I feel like we are one, when I read these posts I feel like there are whole oceans and leagues of things that I couldn't possibly begin to understand about you. I have had the time of my life with you this summer, and these past years. Through thick and thin, hot and cold everything has been and etherial mist of fun and discovery. As I write this I am curled up next to a window reflecting back the kitchen and hearing the music that we discovered and fell in love with together. My tea pot is screaming to be turned off, and I feel like it is heating up just as our lives are at this moment, and also evaporating away like old high school experiences and the summer floating away in a hazy stream. This was a beautiful post, and the things that you managed to do this summer far out weigh those that you didn't.

Tanaka said...

I miss you already

Crystal Ball said...

I enjoyed this post very much. I liked the flow of pretty photographs and your words. Beautiful.

Antonia said...

Love it! There never *has* to be a reason to wear fab lipstick.

Great post btw!

Tanaka said...

oh trust me I mean it just judging from how I feel after this past week of not hearing from you..I definitely mean it

when do you leave? will I see you before then?

Anonymous said...

you look like you had a great summer, dear! it's just lovely!

you may want to enter the contest i am having, it is the "wish upon a magpie contest" third blog from the top♥

Anonymous said...

your entry was fastidious and utterly delightful to read.

thank you so much for your entry, dear!

electric feel said...

hhahha thats funny
im now reading angus thongs and....
it is definitly a great book
and the film is amazing

Adela said...

great pictures! SO inspirational! good luck with college! =)

ashley said...

this post, and your blog are both beautiful! it is hard to move forward, but do remember nothing we do in life is wrong, it just lets our direction take form, enjoy every morning,
x ashley
p.s. thanks for visiting my wee blog!